This topic never gets old.
Pasalubong, if you don't know, is the Filipino "tradition" of bringing souvenirs/presents back home or to whoever we're visiting. Since pasalubong is considered as a gift, another concept is pasabay where fellows ask someone travelling to bring something for their relatives or for themselves where the traveller is going. In this post, I will often collectively refer to both pasalubong and pasabay as pasalubong in this post. These can be something as small as a keychain or a sticker and as big as the contents of an entire closet.
If this practice sounds inconvenient to you, it's because most of the times it is.
Don't get me wrong, it's always joyful to show gratitude to those who welcomed you back home or wherever you are going. I myself have gotten so many good pasalubongs all throughout the years. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, but it can also sometimes be abused. And that's the side of all this that I would like to shed some light in this post.
Some of the reminders here are things you may have already known so I wish this would be serve as a reminder.
For the traveller...
You're the one travelling. Yes, you have all the right to say no.
It's hard for us Filipinos to say "no" because a lot of our families or friends have mastered the art of pagtatampo in Tagalog or pagkahiubos in Bisaya (in English it means displeasure/disappointment) to get what they want. In the context of pasalubongs, sometimes when you decline to a request, you will be met with utmost disdain.
I mean, what do you mean you cannot spare 80% of your luggage space to bring their outlet shopping?! (*sarcasm)
Anyway, what I would like to remind you is that you are the traveller. You are paying for your ticket. Those baggage allowances are all and rightfully yours. You have every right in this world to decline the request if you want to.
NEVER accept any pre-wrapped packages for pasabay.
This is extremely important. It's the main reason why the ground crew almost always asks if you packed your own bags when you check in. There have been tons of cases where travellers accepted requests to bring something only to find out later on those goods were illegal. Have a look at this episode of Border Patrol where an elderly couple was victimised by a person they personally know:
Trust no one. If you do agree to bringing something for someone you know, ask them to give it to you unwrapped and you can wrap it yourself. If they don't trust you to wrap it well, they should not be asking that much of a favour to you at all. It is not also going to well in your side if the customs ask what the package contains and you say you have no idea about it or if whatever is inside does not match what you are saying.
There's no need to bring everyone something.
Unless you are running for a political position that you are under the pressure of impressing every single one of your relatives, neighbours, friends or even acquaintances...then there is absolutely no need to bring something for everyone. Or unless you just simply want to.
Think about those who really mean more to you, not some stranger who greeted you once in the last five years.
The main purpose of you coming home is...coming home. It's not a popularity contest and honestly, from what I have observed, those who are genuinely looking forward to see are the ones who don't expect any gift from you at all. They're just simply looking forward to spending time with you again.
Do not accept pasabays before you have packed all of your personal belongings.
Pack your bags first - your belongings, the pasalubongs you are planning, etc before you accept any requests from anyone. This is to ensure you do have everything that you need and to avoid disappointment of turning down the request the last minute.
Many Filipinos have been a victim of leaving behind their personal belongings just to accommodate those who they have said yes to before they even started packing. This can also happen in the middle of packing.
Going back to my first point, it is okay to say no and explain that you'll pack your bags first and you'll let them know if you have any space left. Don't be afraid to make it a point that you only have x number of grams or kilos for that request.
Take the time to research if the item you are being asked to bring can be imported to your destination.
The unfortunate truth is there are some people who don't give a flying fck and will just ask you to bring whatever their heart desires. There may even be those who would ask you to bring a whole entire boat if only that doesn't sound so wild.
Anyway, the point is that others will not always check if what they're asking you to bring is even legal to your destination country. As unfortunate and annoying as it may be, you would have to take on the responsibility of checking if it is legal. Don't forget to check airline restrictions as well. A simple Google search on "What can I bring to (country)" or "Can I bring (object) to (country)" would yield answers. Make sure you are referring to the official customs or border website of the destination country. Pay attention to the weight limit as well.
Here are links to the official customs restrictions or list of things you can and cannot bring to some countries:
- Australia - https://www.abf.gov.au/entering-and-leaving-australia/can-you-bring-it-in/list-of-items
- Canada - https://www.cbsa-asfc.gc.ca/travel-voyage/ivc-rnc-eng.html#:~:text=What%20you%20can%20bring%20with,vehicles%2C%20private%20boats%20and%20aircraft.
- United Kingdom - https://www.gov.uk/bringing-goods-into-uk-personal-use
- United States of America - https://www.cbp.gov/travel/us-citizens/know-before-you-go/prohibited-and-restricted-items
Now, the second part of this blog is for those who are non-travellers. We've been both the traveller and non-traveller at some point of our lives. Since I may mention points that may be hard pills to swallow for others, but I hope we approach this with an open mind. My aim for this is that we practice more empathy to the person travelling and hopefully have healthier approach to pasalubong.
For the non-traveller:
The person coming home or coming to you means more than the pasalubong.
There is nothing wrong with getting excited over pasalubong. It's a very justifiable human emotion. It also shows how grateful you are that someone thought of bringing you a present. However, it is also important to remember not to let the excitement for material things overshadow the most important thing which is the fact that the person you have not seen in a while is coming home or coming to see you.
If they only had enough money for the plane ticket, remind yourself to check in on them and still be very happy they're coming.
Getting disappointed over not having a pasalubong that you refuse to be happy someone is coming home is not a sign of pure intentions.
If you're not the one travelling, you don't get to dictate how much you can pasabay.
It is a different story if you are paying the person, their plane ticket and everything else in their trip just so you could have your stuff sent over - in that case, why not just ship those over?
If you are not the traveller, you don't get to dictate or just decide on your own how much you wanted to ask the person to bring. The right thing to do is to ask the traveller if he/she/(insert pronoun) has finalised how much they're planning to pack and if how much weight or how large they're willing to bring for you - if they're willing to bring anything at all.
Besides, you can bring as much as you want when it's your turn to travel.
Ask yourself the very important question - are the items you are asking for available in your area?
In our current times, we are blessed to have a lot of international brands already available locally and it's often even cheaper than the price abroad. Overseas, there are already a lot of shops and sometimes grocery stores that sell Filipino products. There is a bit of a price difference for Filipino products abroad considering the import taxes and adjustment for local pricing. However, if there's only cents difference in price, it does not really justify the many kilos it could take up in a luggage allowance.
Packing is a very stressful part of preparation for travels.
It is very important for us to remember that when we ask someone to bring something, the person doesn't just teleport to the destination.
Travel preparation involves packing which is a very major source of stress for most Filipino travellers. When you ask for a pasabay, the traveller has to figure out how to fit that amongst his/her/(insert pronoun) personal belongings, their own pasalubong, etc. So we should think twice before asking someone to bring a folding bed back home. Believe it or not, I have heard stories of people asking things of that size to be brought for them.
Let's exercise more empathy or sympathy towards the traveller and only ask what's necessary and what would cause the least inconvenience.
Research the restrictions of the destination country prior to asking the traveller for the pasabay.
This should be common sense, but is often ignored. Countries like Australia, for example, have very strict border patrols and have many restrictions on what could be brought in the country.
As someone who's just asking the traveller for a favour, it is good measure to check if it is legal to bring to the destination country. If you care about the person, you would also care for the high penalties and other legal implications of bringing prohibited goods to a country. Also, if you have to ask the traveller not to declare it at customs, then you should not be asking that favour at all. Dishonest declarations are illegal.
To check whether or not it is okay to bring your pasabay, check the official border or customs website of the destination country. I have also listed some of them in the first part.
I hope you've made it towards the end without getting angry at me. Again, my aim for this post is to have a clearer view of pasalubongs. It is a very beautiful practice and one we could pride ourselves of, as long as it's with pure intentions.
Happy travels!
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