Allow me to preface this by saying that I never read biographies or memoirs before these three and I don't think I'll be reading any more after these because I just have too many on my to-read pile that I'm much more interested in. I got all these on sale - Matthew Perry's book on Kindle and the other two from Audible. I honestly would not buy memoirs for full price because the stakes that I won't enjoy them are much too high.
Anyway, here are some of my thoughts on these three popular memoirs. I also added in notes on whether or not the book was written with the help of ghostwriters.
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry
TW: (Including but not limited to) Substance @bu$e, depression
This was the very first memoir I have ever read...ever.
The big terrible thing here, spoiler alert, is Matthew Perry's addiction which he has publicly struggled with for so many years. If you have seen the tv show FRIENDS, you must have noticed the drastic changes in Matthew's appearance throughout the seasons. A very traumatic childhood, a lost young adulthood and the very significant amount of fame did so much damage to Matthew that he did not deserve. I share the same sentiments as some other FRIENDS fans who read the book that one of the challenges here is trying to separate the character Chandler Bing to Matthew Perry even though they have significant similarities.
"When I read the script for Friends Like Us it was as if someone had followed me around for a year, stealing my jokes, copying my mannerisms, photocopying my world-weary yet witty view of life. One character in particular stood out to me: it wasn’t that I thought I could play “Chandler,” I was Chandler."
-Matthew Perry
While I do have so much empathy for Matthew's story, I also have to admit that there were a lot of times that I found it did drag on weird and the order of the stories were just a little over the place. The writing style was not easy to get along with. It felt like reading thousand of texts from a friend talking about their toxic relationship for hours and not in a way that keeps you awake.
Note:According to publishers and other sources, Matthew wrote this book himself.
Amazon Kindle ebook non-affiliate link
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
TW: (Including but not limited to) Physical @bu$e, emotional @bu$e, seggsual @bu$e, depression, anxiety, eating disorders
Even just a couple minutes into the book, it already broke my heart.
For starters, I did not know who Jennette was which is why even at the peak of this book's hype, I couldn't care less about it...until I heard from my sister and my favourite booktuber Jack Edwards that this is a really good one.
Jennette's life especially her relationship with her mom is extremely complicated. It was powerful how Jennette kept her childhood and young adulthood point of view at those times of her story and did not include adult insights. It helped kept the innocence and the intensity of the @bu$3 that she was experience which at the time, she was not aware of. I devoured this book but I also got progressively sadder as the years went on. It got worse before it got better and I felt for her - for her pain on the @bu$3, the deception and every single thing that it did to destroy her self worth and her life. It was very painful to hear.
"The problem with this is that if we beat ourselves up after a mistake, we add shame onto the guilt and frustration that we already feel about our mistake. That guilt and frustration can be helpful in moving us forward, but shame...shame keeps us stuck. It's a paralyzing emotion. When we get caught in a shame spiral, we tend to make more of the same kinds of mistakes that caused us shame in the first place".
-Jennette McCurdy
Her storytelling was sublime in this book. There was not one bit that I felt detached. She is a strong, amazing woman but I also wish that she didn't have to.
Even if you (like me) don't know Jennette, I believe you'd still be able to sympathise with her or emphatise at the very least. This is very worth the read.
Note: According to the publishers, Jennette wrote this book herself.
Audible Canada audiobook non-affiliate link
Paris: The Memoir by Paris Hilton
TW: (Including but not limited to) physical @bu$e, emotional @bu$e, anxiety
Celebrities are often just misunderstood. Britney is a prime example of how she was portrayed in the darkest light during the times when she needed acceptance and understanding. And we all can name a few others. The world is often unkind even to the kind souls.
I think I was in high school when I first heard of Paris Hilton. By then, The Simple Life was already a very popular show. I did remember her in the show as this dumb blonde. Who can forget the Walmart line? That was epic.
I didn't really care much for Paris at that time since I was too deep in my Hilary Duff era. I also did not hate her for who she was but I did read so many unpleasant comments about her.
Anyway, given all that, I never really thought of Paris as having been through all the terrible things she narrated in this memoir. I have always thought since she was old money and having everything she wants in this world, that everything would be easier than the average person. Well, how could I be too naive.
This book takes us through not only her rise to fame and how she effectively built her brand, but this also sheds a light into the pits of the glory especially her struggles with her ADHD and the horrible times in boarding schools. Horrible is actually an understatement. Only a woman with extremely strong sense of character could withstand what she had and still redeem herself in the best ways possible - this is something that the media never really gave Paris credit for.
"When you endure horror day after day, month after month, it becomes normalized. I built high stone walls around my heart—walls that no one could break through or climb over for more than twenty years. My MO was to not think about it, not talk about it. Don’t feed the beast. Don’t give it any oxygen. It’ll go away. For a long time, I made that work, but every now and then, some random thing would trigger a flood of memory and anxiety and crush my soul all over again."
― Paris Hilton
This is an unexpectedly insightful book and it gave me a chance to see Paris Hilton in a different way. It did not turn me into a fan, but it sure did make me admire her for who she is. Paris is not a nepo baby who denies her name. She is the nepo baby who is aware of the power her name has, banks on it and uses it as a power to drive a what could be indestructible brand that will last throughout generations. It's a good realisation for me, a peasant, of the obvious truth that even all the money in the world could not save one from pain if their world inflicts it upon them.
Note: Paris thanks ghostwriter Joni Rodgers in the acknowledgements of her book.
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